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K’s Drop Two Points at Bloomfields

On the way to Needham Market, somewhere outside Cambridge is the world’s largest pet crematorium. Well, we don’t know it’s the world’s largest, but it’s certainly the biggest pet crematorium we’ve ever seen, so it’s certainly OUR world’s largest pet crematorium. They’re unbelievably bleak places, pet crematoriums. What started as something exciting, full of life and optimism, an entity filled with seemingly endless possibilities of fun and adventure, ultimately ends its days somewhere in the flat expanse of the ‘Just north of London plains’; going out in a fizzle of smoke rather than a blaze of glory.

Kingstonian’s visit to Needham Market was a chance to get a bit of confidence and momentum going against a side hovering just about the relegation zone. Recent games against Billericay and Tonbridge had seen pick up just a point, but when Pico Gomez was presented with a golden opportunity from just a few yards out in the opening five minutes, it looked like Ks were well on their way to three points. Pico smashed the ball over the bar. Ks never really looked like scoring again.

Sure, Tommy Williams’ side had plenty of possession, you’d expect that as heavy favourites, but Danny Gay in the hosts’ goal only meaningful action game when he niftily closed down Andre McCollin as the striker bore down on goal, early in the second half. That aside, only a Gomez effort that whistled over the bar ever threatened to put Ks on the scoreboard.

In fact, it was the struggling Market who posed the bigger threat, albeit from distance as long-range efforts were well dealt with by Tolfrey. One attempt seemed to catch the wind before striking the post as Tolfrey looked on with a strangely untroubled expression. It was that sort of afternoon. That aside, Harold ran around a lot. George Wells continued to dominate the left hand side of the pitch. Sean Bonnett-Johnson deputised well for Aaron Goode at right back. Pico, Andre and Bennett cut frustrated figures as the game wore on.

It’s hard to say what kind of pet this Kingstonian team would be. It would probably be something somewhat inoffensive and unlikely to cause you any real damage; a grass snake perhaps. Or perhaps this Kingstonian team is not a pet at all, but a Daddy-long-legs. The Daddy-long-legs contains some of the most dangerous venom in the animal kingdom, but its teeth aren’t sharp enough to pierce skin and use its killer potion.

There’s no doubt this Kingstonian squad has some lethal ability, but at the moment, its attack seems somewhat toothless, unable to pierce opposition teams and inflict any real damage. It’s the undoubted danger the team possesses that makes this toothlessness all the more frustrating. The danger is that the slow drizzle towards the pet crematorium of Kingstonian’s season continues. No barks, no howls, just whimpers; toothless, long-legged whimpers.

Match report by Jamie Cutteridge.

Published Wednesday 12th September 2018