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Kingstonian 0
3 Dulwich Hamlet
Erskine (9', 69'), Pinnock (70')

Football Is Dumb

Football is dumb (ed: finally, somebody willing to speak the truth!). For nearly everything in real life, your outcome is pretty much decided by the constituent parts: if you stick some flour, eggs and sugar in a bowl, you’ll get something vaguely resembling a cake; take a cup of hydrogen and stick a bit of oxygen in it and you get water. Football is nothing like that. For 65 minutes of the Bank Holiday Monday game between Ks and Dulwich Hamlet, Kingstonian were dominant. The midfield kept possession well and their attacking intent kept Dulwich on the back foot. Kingstonian lost this game 3-0.

Dulwich’s clinical finishing was the difference between the sides. While the home side had all the possession, they were wasteful with it, and aside from a few half chances, they never fully opened up a Dulwich backline brilliantly marshalled by ex-K Matt Drage. Dulwich, on the other hand, were superbly clinical, punishing any gap that appeared in front of Rob Tolfrey and taking full advantage as Ks’ resistance subsided in the second half.

Ks best chance came just a couple of minutes in: Ricky Sappleton was played in behind the Dulwich back four, but in wet conditions he slipped and the chance was gone. At the other end, it took just ten minutes for Dulwich to take the lead. Nyren Clunis’ cross from the right made its way across the entire Ks defense to the back post, where Jacob Erskine was waiting to volley home the opener. Ks continued to press for the rest of the half: Dan Bennett’s low shot was saved by Phil Wilson and Dan Sweeney’s header was cleared off the line by Kevin James. At the other end, Charlie Penny’s tap-in was disallowed for offside.

The second half began as the first ended: Ks had all of the ball but failed to make it count and barely threatened the visitor’s goal. In a rare forage into the Ks’ half, Dulwich killed the game off in similar fashion to how they started it. Another cross from Clunis on the right was finished by Erskine to double the lead. Minutes later, a deflated Ks side failed to clear a corner and after it bounced around off just about everyone in the penalty area, Ethan Pinnock smashed it home to put the cherry on Dulwich’s cake and throw Kingstonian’s cake under a passing bus. The last 20 minutes were all Dulwich, but in reality the last 20 minutes were irrelevant.
In a weird way, the first 65 minutes were Kingstonian’s best performance of the season: football is dumb.

Match report by Jamie Cutteridge.

Published Wednesday 12th September 2018