K's Frustrated at the Brentwood Arena
Lockie: It's all kicking off!
Diags: Where?! Let's take 'em!
Lockie: Mate, I mean the game!
Diags: What game?
Lockie: You mug, it's Brentwood against... er, “Kingstonian”? They sound like wrong 'uns...
Dan: Says here they just won the "Turvey" ...
Amy: What's a Turvey?! I'm not being funny yeah but...
Dan: Lockie, what we doing here? I’m not even joking but I ain't even been to The Brentwood Arena.
Amy: Me neither. You sure it's in Brentwood? We had to walk for 30 minutes!
Chloe: Mate, it's proper strange. They've got Sugar Hut on their shirts and everything! I think it's well reem. Go on Brentwood!
Lockie: Oi oi saveloy! This is going to get messy!
Bobby: Yawn. Football! This lot can chip off as far as I'm concerned. There ain't any talent on or off this pitch, if you get what i'm sayin'...
Georgia: Don't go Bobby! You goin' Faces?
Bobby: No way, see you later, gotta get a tan, babes.
Dan: Wait, i'll come wiv ya. I’m seeing my bit of fluff in town.
Lewis: Nice one Bruva!
Amy: Oi, what's the score anyways?
Lockie: 0-0 babes.
Amy: This is bleak as.
Lockie: I proper rate that bar though. £2.50 a pint. Let's get them in! Ames, what you having?
Amy: Prada Martini?
Lockie: They ain't gonna have it, babes.
Amy: Ok, er, a Gucci Princess?
Lockie: Done.
Lewis: Mate, grab us a pint un’all....
Eliott: Something just happened! Oh, wait. No, nothing's happened.
Amy: Oi, what's the score anyways?
Lockie: Still 0-0 babes.
Chloe: But like how long is this?
Lockie: 90 minutes.
Chloe: That is bleak as.
Amy: Why's the ball thingy up the other end all the time?
Lockie: Cos, at the end of the day, this Kingstonian lot are making Brentwood's defence look like right muppets! Come on, boys! Let's 'ave it!
Chloe: That Pico's a right sort!
Georgia: Shuuuut uuuup!
Lockie: Oi, ref, foul!
Georgia: I haven't seen this much ag since Arg cheated on Lydia.
Amy: Oi, what's the score anyways?
Lockie: It's finished 0-0 babes!
Amy: Oh that is bleak as.
Lockie: But some bloke just told me Brentwood will still probably stay up cos of something called an “inevitable Ryman league administrative reprieve”.
Amy: Oh that is bleak as....
A very special match account by Taimour Lay.
